P.S.

8.11.08

Today I heard one of the most heartbreaking facts ever. I discovered about the excess baggage. Before you already told me that you have something very important to say to me. That would surely test the love that I felt for you. You told me not to think of it. I tried not to. But the strong sense of curiosity that gyrated in my mind made me formulate some hypotheses. Then it crossed my mind, what if you really have it? How would I react? But later on, I thought that it might just be one of my crazy ideas so for the meantime, I tried my best to delete it from my brain.

Yet a woman’s intuition is really strong. Out of the blue, that same question popped in my mind again. Then I tried to ask you about that. You gave hesitant answers. What if’s. Then you told me it was true. I was waiting for the punch line. That time I wished you were just telling me a first class lie. But damn it’s really true. For a few seconds I was struck dumbfounded and confused.

That was so cruel. I didn’t know how to feel or react. I never knew that until this day of revelation came. I remained calm and speechless. But when I came back to my senses, I just said I can accept it coz I love you. I admit that knowing about it hurt me a lot. But I guess that time the love for you that I felt was greater than the hurt that you made me feel. I know we can’t do anything about it. The life’s there. We can no longer change that.

A myriad of questions came rushing through. So many what if’s. You satisfactorily answered all of them. There’s just something that bugged my mind… I came to think about the future offspring if ever. How would they react? Would they be able to accept it? I hope it would not be as hard as what I am thinking. It’s giving me so much anxiety.

I washed my hand and gave you the responsibility to explicate it to them. Anyway it’s your story to tell. Just don’t forget what you always have to remember.